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Not Immune to Inadequacy

Personally I have never suffered addiction, though I have recreationally used on occasion. My greatest self sabotaging method is food. Weight gain/loss is my beast of burden, I guess. At 40 years won, I have lost over 100 lbs three separate times in my life. Which also illustrates that I have gained over 100 lbs preceding the brighter side to which I focus. I recognize the indication of significant imbalance. It must be noted, though, that throughout my professional life physical, heavy, manual labor has consistently proved to be the most effective platform for me to successfully reestablish the habits and behaviors that produce the preferred version of myself.

My most favored trade in which I have served is tree service/ landscaping. Dragging limbs & loading, pushing a lawnmower all day, operating a shovel or rake for hours and days… The gaining phases have always been instigated by injury or pregnancy, and not necessarily the result of mental disorder. I wouldn’t dare say there is anything healthy about it, but mitigating factors fully support alternative facilitators.   Further consideration of the determination made evident by returning to physical labor, pursuant of healthier weight, after recovery, validates character strength.  Inactivity due to injury also resulted in boredom when normally engaged in activity, lonely when normally part of a team. Consolation in the form of food, not uncommon. The combination is overwhelming, and although I am a super hero, I am not perfect, and I am prone to inadequacy, just like everybody else.
Mere mortals, puny humans, burdensome lump of flesh. I hope when Jesus comes, He will allow me to possess the form of a Dragontitus, I believe in absolution that is the name He has selected for me. Thank You, Jesus, I am eternally grateful.

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